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I WROTE TO A FRIEND LAST NIGHT and told her how "excited" I was to sit and wait for the GREAT TEN RICH WHITE republican MEN, known as Republican candidates for President, to begin their debate.
I wrote the following - my prediction of the obvious. When it comes to predicting what politicians will say to pander to their base, it is fun. It's easier than almost any board game because with politicians there are no dice to make something unpredictable. Certainty is certain.
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Here's what I thought they'd say. It is what I knew they'd say:
I love tax cuts.
I love tax cuts more.
I can protect us from the Evil Doers.
I can protect us better.
I hate homos.
I hate homos more.
I hate illegal immigrants.
I have always hated them and hate them more.
I'll build a bigger fence to kep them out than you will.
I love Ronald Reagan.
I love Ronald Reagan more.
I love Ronald Reagan so much I'll go down on one knee to prove it.
I love Ronald Reagan so much I'll go down on both knees to prove it.
I love Ronald Reagan so much I'll just go down.....
I WAS RIGHT ABOUT ALL OF THE ABOVE but that takes very little intelligence, just a pulse, to be able to know the obvious.
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It was fun to watch Rudy Guiliani squirm as he is not good at sharing a stage and not being able to control the questions. His creativity and obscurity on whether he thought a woman should be able to choose to have an abortion or not was amazing. He danced very well on the subject. Cha cha cha.
Mitt Romney was his usual well-prepared dishonest used car salesman self. He's got a water purification unit to sell to the American people, and he's the one who most wants to kill Osama Bin Laden. Well, not the most if you count the fast-aging very pitiful and irrelevant John McCain
My favorite line of the night came when John McCain stated that he wanted to meet Osama Bin Laden at the Gates of Hell. I hope the event is televised. It goes to show just how determined McCain is - he is willing to go to hell to catch the Tall Bearded Dialysis-Loving American-Hating moderate.
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Only 2 of the MIGHTY TEN wanted to amend the U. S. Constittion to allow people born outside of the U. S. to become President.
And only McCain thinks stem cell research is good. The water purification system salesman, Mitt Romney, came most prepared on that one as he invoked some phrases that included nuclear science of some sort. No one knew what it was, Chris Matthews thought Romney was dodging the question and repeated it, and then Romney, wearing as much brown lipstick as would fit on his lips, uttered the poetic:
"Altered Nuclear Transfer creates embryo-like cells that can be used for stem cell research." He went on to say, "I want our government funds to be used on Dr. Hurlbut's method, which is Altered Nuclear Transfer."
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AND AS I ALSO PREDICTED, Mitt Romney did not invoke the FRIGHTENING and REPUBLICAN-KILLING "M-Word" -
M--A--S--S--A--C--H--U--S--E--T--T--S
M--A--S--S--A--C--H--U--S--E--T--T--S
M--A--S--S--A--C--H--U--S--E--T--T--S
M--A--S--S--A--C--H--U--S--E--T--T--S
M--A--S--S--A--C--H--U--S--E--T--T--S
M--A--S--S--A--C--H--U--S--E--T--T--S
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THERE REALLY WAS AN ENLIGHTENING series of moments from the guy I considered to easily be the only honest person of the TEN - Rep. Ron Paul from Texas. He is one of those old fashioned Republicans, the nearly extinct breed, the type of Republican that was in good supply in Massachusetts when I was growing up (the preposition at the end of the sentence does not lessen my view of good old fashioned "New England Yankee Republicans").
Paul even used the OBSCENE-to-Republicans "E-WORD:"
EISENHOWER !?!?!
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In Rep. Paul's words from last night:
"I'm suggesting very strongly that we should have a foreign policy of non-intervention, the traditional American foreign policy and a Republican foreign policy. Throughout the 20th century, the Republican Party benefited from a non-interventionist foreign policy. Think of how Eisenhower came in to stop the Korean War..... How did we win the election in the year 2000? We talked about a humble foreign policy. No nation-building. Don't police the world. That is a conservative, it's a Republican, it's a pro-American, it follows the Founding Fathers. And besides, it follows the Constitution."
"I tried very hard to solve this problem before we went to war, by saying declare war if you want to go to war; go to war, fight it and win it, but don't get into it for political reasons or to enforce U.N. resolutions or pretend the Iraqis were a national threat to us."
WOW - it is very good to read the above statements from Ron Paul again, as this really represents the very decent and honorably held views of Republicans from a ong time ago. Republicans who used to think that "mind your own business" and "live and let live" were were worthy axioms and part of what it meant to be conservative.
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I WILL NOT BE NAMED BY THE D. C. MADAM (Debora Jeane Palfrey) when the list comes out later today. "I did not have sexual relations with that woman (please fill in the blank __________)." I do not have a FEAR OF HER BLACK BOOK. I had no massage, I had no message but I will only chuckle at those who did have a massage and those who do have a message. Their message might be "I only had a massage."
ACTUALLY, I can think of an EXCELLENT EXCUSE TO HIRE A MADAM or ESCORT when living near Washingon, DC. Here it is:
Someone gave me tickets to see the National Symphony. They were playing a Bruckner Symphony. Obviously, if an orchestra is playing Bruckner, no person of sound character will attend the concert. Therefore, I was forced to hire a woman of the night to accompany me to this dreadful acoustical calamity.
That woman and I did not have sexual relations. The night wasn't that good. There was Bruckner instead.
And as he told his wife the next morning,
"Honey, I swear - it meant nothing to me. It was only Bruckner - a one time thing. It will never happen again. I promise.... next time it will be Mahler and I will proudly bring you with me. If it ever happens again and I go see Bruckner, I promise I will get help."
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I had too much fun in Park Slope, Brooklyn, United States last weekend. My heart stayed on 6th Street, lingered long on 6th Street, she had a house and garden, I would like to see what happens....
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