E. Michael Harrington

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THE FUNNIEST THING I SAW TODAY, and one of the funniest in a long time, is this important news story. Finally, they got it right. They decided to brokeback it and put their fear of the future and authoritarian proclivites together to forge a new (erotic) business model. No more separate RIAA and MPAA but the fusion of two regressive and tired naturals. The Music and Film industries have agreed to "call it like it is."

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They will now be known as the Music And Film Industry Assocation of America, aka

The M A F I A A

The website announcing the Brokebacking is here:

www.mafiaa.org/

Sometimes love happens when you least expect it.

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THERE HAS BEEN TOO MUCH GOING ON LATELY, a lot of it not the inspiring change the world kind of things. And all of this stuff has kept me from some of my favorite pursuits. For one, I wanted to write a lot of April Fools type things. I was going to put forth fake news as real news as they are often similar in the same way as reality and unreality frquently slurp and slide into one another. In high school, I concocted one of my favorite sayings (I've stopped concocting sayings, I think) to convey this: Adjust reality to suit your needs.

One of my April Fool stories - Britney Spears is killed when her son falls off the steering wheel landing on the automoatic shift causing the car to roll down the driveway and over his mom as she is behind the car picking up the Lincoln Logs she bought for second husband Kevin. As Edith Bunker might have said, "it was a fluke accident." But I never got to write this story and, fortunately, she and Donald Rumsfeld are OK, and no volcanoes erupted in Iowa or Illinois.

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And Tom DeLay is upset and disappointed that three of his close friends/pals/workers are in big legal trouble. That's maximal chutzpah and hypocrisy.

Will they rat out Tom the Extreminator? (I'll stop on the pest/rodent references).

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I hope Cynthia McKinney resigns. That is drastic and quite excessive but the alternative is perfectly implausible. The alternative? SHE SHOULD APOLOGIZE, but she's too damn arrogant for that.

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WHEN TOM CRUISE'S WIFE GIVES BIRTH, TOM, who sadly keeps publicly playing the role of heterosexual husband, will demand that she be the lovely little Scientologist Cult wife and not make a sound. Real women Scientologists do not feel pain when they give birth, or so S-tologists are programmed to believe.

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My most unusual friend, JEROME HURWITZ (yes, that Jerome Hurwitz), knows that I so enjoy ALL Katherine Harris (the Britney Spears of politics) news - to me it's on a par with the MAFIAA (the ex-RIAA) suing 12 year-old girls and dead 83 year-old widows. So Jerry H (to his friends) sent me this confessional piece from a similarly entrenched/obsessed KH fan:

http://www.tbo.com/news/columnists/danielruth/MGBUQRTNLLE.html

She's gone beyond her normal paranoia (men altering her facial cosmetics in photos) and now knows her close friends are also out to get her. I think if she tightens her facial skin (through surgery or additional wind tunnel work) and remembers that she and Jeb might be able to once again share what they once had, she'll be OK. Please run for the Senate, Katherine, and please pay attention to those who are in this for laughs only, like the author and me.

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How can CBS think that Katie Couric as mega-teleprompter reader can save their unpopular evening news program?

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It's time for the pampered priviliged Ivy-wannabe Duke lacrosse playing boys to come clean. I hope their trials are televised.

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