"When somebody falls between sexes," surviving Valentine's Day, Massachusetts pride and Red Sox Nation saving children from evil, Willie Nelson's new song, the Lesbian inside of me, the happy kind of cry
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I AM SO PROUD TO BE FROM MASSACHUSETTS, whether it's because we started the United States of America and were very good terrorists for the right cause between 1770-1789 and 1812-1814, or because we were the only enlightened state in 1972 and voted for Senator George McGovern instead of Richard Milhous Nixon - "RiCHARD E. NIXON," in the words of Archie Bunker), or because we are the most pro-consumer pro-freedom pro-free speech and liberty state, or because POLITICS is an intellectual and humanistic pursuit, as well as a SPORT, or because we hate the New York Yankees. Fighting evil, whether it be the New York Yankees, corporate greed, or the British monarchy, is in our genes.
I am also deeply proud of our excellent lower, middle and higher education in the state (Harvard, MIT and Radcliffe are located in my sweet, quaint, soft spoken and modest hometown of CAMBRIDGE, Massachusetts).
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This leads me to what triggered this current spurt of pride:
"The Lowell Spinners, the Red Sox Class A affiliate, announced last week that they would foot the cost of jerseys for any youth league that was willing to change the name of its Yankees squad to the Spinners.
The response has been overwhelming. At the start of the week, the Spinners had been contacted by more than 30 baseball and softball leagues from 25 communities across Massachusetts."
For whatever reason, there were some teams that had adopted this terrible name (Yankees) for their teams. [This is the only time when I would have hoped that arrogant trademark owners would have trampled those people who had selected such a distatsteful name for their teams - the NY Yankees should have threatened these teams for using their mark without permission, but, alas they did not and now the LOWELL SPINNERS/BOSTON RED SOX will come to the rescue.]
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This is such good news - we will be able to save our children and protect them from evil and embarking on the Highway to Hell, i.e., life as a New York Yankees fan.
THANK YOU LOWELL SPINNERS for protecting the youth of America. I look forward to attending some SPINNERS games this summer and contributing to ENLGHTENMENT and a love of leading a good and moral life, away from that evil name, YANKEES. Annuit Coeptis - May God favor you and your children and your children's children.
The complete story of salvation (saving children's souls) can be found in today's BOSTON GLOBE:
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I SURVIVED VALENTINE'S DAY again. As is almost always the case, I was female-less on V-Day ("V" in this case is a double entendre - Valentine and Victory - what I've won is peace - I am not in trouble on this worst-day-of-the-year for heterosexual males).
I had a good V Day in 2000. I was in love/we were in love and looked forward to making her happy and having our usual great time. I "went all out" and felt romantic, did romantic things (may I be struck dead if I ever write those two phrases again! Am I on Oprah or something?) and got her some really nice thoughtful things. She cried (the happy kind of cry) and life was great. A week later though she decided that she couldn't love me the way she should. I was crushed. She did not want me to leave her, however, and wanted me to spend every minute with her. But she would also keep crying annd telling me that she can't love me the way she should. But she also told me that she loved me. Whatever the hell that means.... I use the technical term, "nuts" or "crazy" to describe this kind of behavior.
I should know better and delete the entire paragraph but I won't. (Unless I go back and delete later...)
Back to V-Day.
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On Valentine's Day, every male becomes a janitor. I was a janitor. It is a very rewarding job because, unlike most of my present day life, there is a specific do-able, finish-able finite job to do. It can get done. Like any job, one takes pride and satisfaction and there are many skill levels.
BUT, here's where V-Day for a male is being a janitor.
WHEN YOU DO A GOOD JOB AS A JANITOR, NO ONE NOTICES. The building looks good because it's supposed to look good. Janitors rarely get thanked or acknowledged for doing a good job. He's supposed to do a good job.
ON V-DAY, if the guy does well or extraordinarily well, it's no big deal as he is supposed to do well. If the guy is anything less than very good, great, or excellent, then he gets noticed.
I survived this Valentine's Day very well and even got very nice cards, emails and items from friends, and especially married friends (they're great because there is no drama or uncertainty as to our relationship - we are friends and she might as well be male. We are safe together.)
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My new passion today is Willie Nelson's new song, "Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly (Fond Of Each Other)." I heard about it recently and bought it on iTunes last night. (Its "Apple DRM" will get busted later tonight as I will not let Apple stand in my way of editing for private, noncommercial home use. Cheney those who would DRM me.)
Willie has hit the nail on the head in this song. He's wise, eloquent and correct.
The first lyrics are below. The music is great as well, perfectly suited, especially with the acoustic guitar "SHOT." (I'll reprint the "shot down dead" section in my next blog.)
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Well there's many a strange impulse out on the plains of West Texas
There's many a young boy who feels things he can't comprehend
And a small town don't like it when somebody falls between sexes
No a small town don't like it when a cowboy has feelings for men
And I believe to my soul that inside every man there's a feminine
And inside every lady there's a deep manly voice loud and clear
Well the cowboy may brag about things that he's done with his women
But the ones that brag loudest are the ones that are most likely queer
Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other
Say what do you think all them saddles and boots was about
And there's many a cowboy who don't understand the way that he feels for his brother
And inside every cowboy there's a lady that'd like to slip out
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Wow - and the songs goes on. It is easily the best 99 cents I've spent in a long time. Only 99 cents to capture an historic recording.
Imagine if the Dixie Chicks had written this or its counterpart (I can imagine one - I know there's a lesbian inside of me and she's been screaming lately! LOL)- what a hell of a price they would have to pay. Fortunately, in the land of the Free and Free Speech, Willie Nelson will thrive.
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