End of 2005, Beginning of 2006 Part 1
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End of 2005, Beginning of 2006 Part 1
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This begins a multi-part series that will include
How I will change
How I will not change
How I should change
What went right in 2005
What went wrong in 2005
Predictions for 2006 (only fools write predictions)
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This is my first New Year's Eve having a blog. It could be my last as this blogging/diarizing thing could come to an end this year.
I find myself suddenly wordy. Uh-oh. Ye have been warned.
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HOW I WILL CHANGE in 2006
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I will eat smaller portions.
I will work out more.
I will resume using my exercise wheel.
I will walk Radnor Lake more.
I will try not to be irritable, mean spirited or angry over the leap second that will be added on to our lives tomorrow as TIME WILL STOP due to the slowing of our Earth's rotation. Even though 2005 will be the longest year of my life, I will not shave an extra time tonight but instead will use that extra time to let my beard keep growing.
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I will try to see any FILM that is directed, produced, written by or features:
Michael Moore, Michael Moore, Michael Moore
I own everything he has done from ROGER and ME to F 9/11. For fun, at the expense of a careless with the facts kind of person, do fact checking on Michael Moore and then do fact checking on Bill O'Reilly. When delving into Bill O'Reilly, make sure not to read the 80 + page lawsuit filed against him. O'Reilly's dirty talk with a woman who is not his wife, especially as O'Reilly is one who has written a survivor's guide for CHILDREN (he's got some even though he does phone sex with a woman who is not his wife), is really deplorable stuff. How can a guy who cheats on his wife write a book for children? Bill Clinton, who has also cheated on his wife, never had the gall to write a survivors' book for children.
And these others who might direct, produce, write or work in a film:
Robert Redford
John Turturro
Rob Reiner
Tim Robbins
Christopher Guest
Harry Shearer
Sean Penn
Spike Lee
Parker Posey
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I will buy any music by Frank Black, Youssou N'Dour, Josef Zawinul, Wayne Shorter, Baaba Maal, Milton Nascimento, Caetano Veloso, Outkast, Brazilian Girls, Gilberto Gil, Luciana Souza, Bebel Gilberto, Elvis Costello, Beck, Ozomatli, Cafe Tacuba, Carlinhos Brown, David Byrne, Neil Young, John Fogerty, Bob Dylan, They Might Be Giants, Chuck D, Prince, Brian Wilson, Paul McCartney, Eminem, Ornette Coleman, Pat Metheny, Randy Newman, Peter Gabriel, Sting, Stevie Wonder, Tom Petty and U2.
I will buy any new music from great dead people including Frank Zappa, Beatles (individually and together), Miles Davis, Luiz Gonzaga, Gonzaguinha, Tupac, Thelonious Monk, John Coltrane, Elvis Presley and others.
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I will not break any more teeth. [I last broke a tooth in 2004.]
I will not sprain my ankle.
I will not walk in a car wash.
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HOW I WILL NOT CHANGE in 2006
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I will continue to love the U. S. Constitution, immigrants and our geography.
I will continue to download copyrighted material everyday and will not ask permission for copying this copyrighted material. I will continue to carefully consider each of the four factors from Section 107 of the U. S. Copyright Act before I download copyrighted material and then go ahead and download the copyrighted material as I do everyday. (I will surmise that these past few statements will irk the hell out of certain readers and encourage those annoyed to assume the worst about me, however, there could be a catch!)
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I will continue to love life, work hard, be as kind as I can to people, and lead a PURPOSE-LESS life.
I will keep loving my PURPOSE-LESS life and resist any temptation to have a purposeful life.
If at any moment I start to have what appears to be a PURPOSEFUL life, I'll stop and change and try to revert to a PURPOSE-LESS life.
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I will keep trying to respect and defend the definition and meaning of words in the English language, for example, LIBERAL and CONSERVATIVE.
I will continue to use primary sources and not secondary sources.
I will continue to be as non-Fox Television-like as I know how. This will be accomplished by three (3) principal means:
1. Respect the meaning of words in the English language
2. Use primary sources
3. Be courteous and kind, especially to those with little or no power
My father would be proud of me if I adhered to the above three.
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I will continue to love the unknown.
I will continue to be thrilled when I wake up, and excited about what the new day will offer.
I will continue to hope that we leave Iraq and apologize and pay off those we have injured. Money is great for stuff like that. Money matters. Money is very good at fixing things. Just look at guys who buy flowers a lot.
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I will continue to hope for religious tolerance, justice, better wages and peace in the world.
I will try to be polite and friendly.
I will smile more.
I will laugh more.
I will drink the same amount of liquids as I did this year. I drink the right amount. If I had to change, I would drink more.
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I will watch and read anything that Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell or other PREACHERS, RABBIS or CLERICS WITH PUBLICISTS, or the Pope, think I should not.
And if CULTS - the Church of Scientology or the Unification Church (Moonies) - are opposed to ANYTHING, I will embrace it wholeheartedly.
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I will not attend strip clubs.
I will not attend NASCAR.
I will not attend comedy clubs. Instead, I will continue to laugh at the following:
Fox Television, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell (please stay in good health), the New York Post, Sony BMG, the Recording Industry Association of America (the RIAA), the Motion Pictures Association of America (the MPAA), the President, his Cabinet, the White House, Congress, Church of Scientology, the healthy trend of children desecrating their Barbie dolls, Barbie and her Mattel Corporation, Britney Spears, Donald Trump, White House press secretaries, those who purport to know when the world will end, the next religious cults to shed their containers and the others I forgot to mention.
I truly thank all of those listed in the prior sentence, from the bottom of my heart, for providing me with humor throughout the past year, and in many of these cases, for the past several decades.
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I will not shop at Wal-Mart.
I will not shop at women's stores.
I will not go to shopping malls.
I will not buy flowers.
I will not buy pork rinds.
I will not have a wardrobe malfunction.
I will not smoke.
I will not go near smoking.
I will not play cards.
I will not play poker.
I will not gamble.
I will not have a heterosexual marriage.
I will not have a homosexual marriage.
I will not buy the services of a prostitute.
I will not care what adults do behind closed doors.
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I will not use Vice President Dick Cheney-style profane foul abusive language, as I will not tell anyone to go F____ themselves.
I will rightly be tempted to use Vice Presidential-style four-letter word language on DELL COMPUTERS. Dell Computers are the surest proof that SATAN exists.
DELL rhymes with HELL. Coincidence? I don't think so.
Dell Computers deserve Dick Cheney style street talk, people do not.
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I will not use illegal drugs.
I will not own or shoot a gun.
I will not use a gun (I will be strongly tempted however) to shoot my TV even when it plays Vonage commercials with that enemy-of-music horrendous wordless singer who sings sharp during that terrorist-inspired 12-bar blues that accompanies Vonage commercials. Cheney the singer and those who made that Cheney-ing commercial.
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I will not play video games.
I will not read a novel.
I will not use an ATM card.
I will not have credit card debt.
I will not borrow money. (My last loan was to buy my house in 1993.)
I will not sleep in a snow bank.
I will not sleep on a street.
I will not vacation in Africa, Europe or Asia. That is stated with regret.
I will continue to hope that the civil war we have started in Iraq will end.
I will not eat at McDonald's or any other fast food chain with the possible exception of Arby's (Horseradish-----Good) and Taco Bell (Beans----Good).
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I will NOT see any film that is directed/produced/written by or features:
Tom Cruise
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Sylvester Stallone
Anyone named Spears, Simpson, Richie or Hilton
Anyone who wins, places or shows in a reality TV show
(EXCEPT for William Hung who can do no wrong)
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I will not attend a Broadway musical as I did not attend one in 2005.
I will not miss an episode of Season 6 of the Sopranos.
I will not even be near my computer when an episode from Season 6 of the Sopranos is shown.
I will not try to fit in although I will not try to fit out.
I will not move to California because I still take the following seriously --- earthquakes, high prices and congestion due to that GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY advice.
I will not move to Florida or New Orleans because of hurricanes and bad weather.
I will not move out of the United States.
I will not become a rock star in an Asian country.
I will not get a business card. I have never had a business card.
I will PROBABLY not join a union, but the chances are greater this year than ever that I might join a union.
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More nonsense and words in this vein tomorrow.
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